Italy

I spent about a week in Italy and I just didn't find it all it was cracked up to be.  The people are definitely not warm and friendly, they take one look at us and think Sucker.  Truthfully we probably are.  I think Americans as a whole are pretty boorish (me included) but we do have good qualities, really we do.

Twila and I did a bike ride in Florence it was just the two of us and it was truly wonderful.  We got out into the countryside and rode up to seine.  It was absolutely beautiful.  Our guide was pure joy and very knowledgeable so it definitely was an A+.

However, I am not in biking shape, so when we got the bikes she asked me if I wanted to do the whole 18 miles.  Now 18 miles is a cake walk unless of course there are hills.  Are there hills I asked her.  Not to bad, she said, you can ride the whole ride in the middle gear in fact Do Not go into the granny gear.

Okay I thought I can do this if I don't need a granny gear.  So we took the bike for a spin before we started out.  When we got back to her, she told Twila to put it it back in the middle ring, well she sort of scolded Twila for putting it in her big gear.  She was insistent that Twila put it back and was going to make Twila do it before we took off, but Twila ignored her, then she looked at me and said kept in the middle.  Okay okay I follow whatever I am told.

Twila did NOT put it back to the middle I kept it in the middle.

The first part was a steep down hill.  I rode the brakes and prayed for my life at every bend.  Twila peddled.  By the time I got down the hill, Twila had taken a little siesta and had a four course lunch.   But as always she was a good sport about it.

Then started the uphill.  I guess I had a panicked look on my face as I asked her how long was the uphill.  Two and a half miles.  Two and a half miles in the middle gear.  That was going to be hard.  She told me I could get in the van, but I was like really - no.  Got to start hurting might as well start now.

To be continued...

Bashful

I am pretty bashful, or as T2 likes to say a milquetoast.  Which is true, but it is nurture not nature.  I was made this way by the world because I don't like my feelings hurt.  I am a very sensitive girl, and I am always afraid if I am assertive they will come back with something hurtful.

I always try and play fair, I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but I have learned that does not go in two directions.  Most people don't care about your feelings.  It is easy for them to tell you you are fat, or not as attractive, or maybe not the brightest bulb in the room.  And it is said in "honesty".  You know the truth, and how can speaking the truth be hurtful.

But it does.  It is hurtful, because being overweight makes you a second class citizen.  It is true, if a heavy person is assertive they are fodder for abuse so we become milquetoast.

Grumpy

I had about 5 hours of sleep in the last 48, and it is draining, and I am ready to slap anyone who annoys me.

We went on an all day tour of London with 60 other people.  We had three stops, St. Paul the Tower of London, and the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace.  Because of the terrorist incident there was no changing of the guard, so that was a bust.  St. Paul was fascinating, but the crowned jewels I was ready for murder.

I have this thing about lines, I expect people to play fair.  I expect people to stay in the f*******g line.  But as I got in line behind this couple a group of people from our tour got behind us.  As we did our first turn suddenly they were ahead of us.  I was stunned and dismayed at there rudeness, and thought like what difference does it make to them?  Really?  It isn't like they aren't going to get in.

With each turn I found us further and further until we were practically at the back of the line.  It must be a cultural thing.  Lines are meant for everyone but me.   My annoyance didn't phase them one bit.  Must not have been stern enough.  Oh well.  It was aid day anyway with a trip down the Thames.

stinky

So I am one of those people who gets gas when I fly.  This is sort of new - at least since 2012 and I have tried all different ways to combat it.  But well sometimes no matter how hard I try I just - you know- fart.  And on product those are very very stinky (my farts generally smell like roses.)

So my go to method is to wrap up tightly in a blanket and hope it doesn't seep out.  I think I keep it pretty well contained and I figure by the time I leave the smell will be gone and no there will be no foul.

So, I never thought about having to get up to go to the bathroom.  Everyone was asleep except me(no sleep that night)  so I got up and went to the bathroom.  I was relieved that it had dissipated and felt I had done a good job for my fellow man.

However, returning from the restroom, as I neared my bed I was overwhelmed by what can only be described as stinky to high heaven.  I was thinking well *I* am not the only one who gets gas, and felt pretty vindicated until I got to my bed and realized that that noxious order was coming from my bed.

I quickly jumped back in bed and pulled the blanket over me.  But the damage was done.  I think they knew it was me.  They were pretty distant and when they asked me what I wanted they stood at my next door neighbor seat.  I kept saying "what?" and they kept repeating until they gave in... and mimed the question.  Yup pretty sure they knew it wa me.

Trials and tribulations

So today I went over my calories by about 200.   It is the first time I have done that since starting and I really didn't have that much.   1340 calories.  And what did I have?  I had about an 1/8 of a cup of endamame a salad that was suppose to be lemon juice as dressing but I am sure it was vinaigrette.  And tandoori chicken.  6 ounces 451 calories.  Plus my Optifast.  And there you have it.  200 calories over.  And on top of that I am already 2 pounds up from weigh in.  Tomorrow I am just doing product.  In fact I think that I am just doing Optifast for the rest of London.  Blah.

Traveling is much easier if  I don't have to eat.   Bummer

Don't expect to be perfect

So I was told this right before I left class. It gives me a pause.  What does that mean.  Eating perfectly.  Is there such a thing?  Perfect eating?

I will never be a perfect eater, I can try, but... I don't like veggies that much and I don't know this balanced food is pretty hard.  Does anyone really eat balanced.  Food preference is so individual, I will never eat fish heads, fish eggs, worms, maggots, brains, snails.  Just doesn't appeal to me, and I don't think if I was starving I would find those appealing.

I won't eat perfectly, does she mean I won't eat the 1100 calories I will eat more/less?  I will be distracted by the aroma of fish and chips.  I will have a double scoop of ice cream?  What does she mean I won't be perfect?

If I eat 1100 calories will that be perfect?  Does it matter how I eat those 1100 calories to be qualified as perfect, or just eating that amount of calories is perfect enough?

Oh it is just to confusing.

No Pain No Pain

Physically I have a high tolerance for pain, mentally I have a very very low tolerance for pain.  My darling sister has often told me that I don't try very hard because I don't want to be in pain.  I say who does?

It is interesting that people in group are afraid of being hungry.  That is not my worry.  I don't really care about the hunger feeling (if I have one) I just don't like it when it goes to pain.  But maybe it is the same concept?  I don't know.

So how do I overcome this fear of pain?  How do athletes work through the pain?  I don't know how to mentally do it.  You certainly can't do focusing on the pain.  Which I do.  There has to be a trick that works that allows you to acknowledge the pain, but continue on.  Trying to focus on something else?  But when your legs are burning and you don't think you can get your arms out of the water, the focus isn't going anywhere but to the agony you are enduring.

Thinking it will only be another minute or ten minutes doesn't work for me.  It is part of my instant gratification make up.  I don't want to feel pain now, I want to eat the ice cream now.  What is a girl to do?  I have until June 27 to figure this life question out.