Day 2 My People

I spent the day at the hospital with Big D.  Pneumonia hits the body hard, and scary when someone old you love gets it.  But Big D is like a phenomenon of nature.  She has this devastating disease which was early onset, but crawled along for years.  Now at the ripe old age of 91 it is beginning to take its tole, but she will not let it get the better of her.  She is a fighter that one, and she fights hard and has always ended up coming out on top.  So now with this scare, two days in the hospital and already she is well enough to go home.

While at the hospital I saw that modern medicine is not ready for the aged.  The truth is they better get ready, because there is a whole lot of aged people coming down the line, and medicine, doctors and nurses better get their act together. 

The doctors and nurses always look for the youngest person to talk to, even if the patient is fully coherent and lucid.  They don't adjust for the fear that an elderly person has being in the hospital, they forget that each time a person in their 90's goes to the hospital, they are pretty sure that is going to be the last.  They are scared, the professionals respond to the patients fear by saying that they are "demented" or not combative, they tattle to the family all the bad behavior they perceived the patient did, and what the family is suppose to do - apologize? 

Big D told me she was coming home tonight.  I said I wasn't sure if she was and she said she was sure.  She said that there was noway she would stay another night in this place.  I asked why she felt that way was something wrong.  Her response - I want to be with my people.  I want her to be with her people too welcome home Big D.

Okay Optifast Day 1

Back in the group.  What an incredible difference a facilitator makes.  I have N who is the lead facilitator of the program, and she is organized.   If we had walked into her group on January 19 last year we probably wouldn't have lost so many people.

I kept my head down and tried to ignore everybody while we waited for the group to start.  But I can tell you now I think it is going to be a contentious group.   But we will wait and find out.  And there are more men in this group then I have ever had in my other groups.  We had 25 signed up, but only 23 showed up I think.  They over sold the group, but I think they expect attrition. 

A lot of the people annoyed me, but maybe nerves made them annoying.  I think we are all nervous.  And scared, we already had someone cry just with N describing how it works and what to expect.  I am taking 5 to 1 odds that they won't make it.

I am always nervous, and this is making me a bit more nervous.  This is it for me.  No more active weight loss after this 20 weeks.  So the beginning of the end is near.  I am going to spend the last years of my life not worrying about weighing too much.  At week 30 I plan to go to New York for a weekend as a celebration of the end of my active weight loss.  Anybody want to join me? 

Day 1 - not Optifast trying to find a way

Oh what a way to start a new year.  I slept for 3 solid days, my Fitbit didn't know how to calculate the sleep, so it recognized it as exercise (just kidding) but it certainly felt like exercise.  Every bone and joint in my body hurt.  I slept but it was like sleeping when you travel, always feel just a bit awake, and not very restful, where the dreams were constant and you felt half awake.

Trying to figure what to do next in this new year, I have been thinking about goals and weight loss.  I am tired of fighting my weight and now I have put on another ten pounds.  I have to decide if I want to do the Optifast program again or not.  But whatever I decide I have to put my whole being into it. 

Today I am planning on eating:  Chilled Soba Noodles, Diet to go breakfast, veggies with dip, Latte, apple and diet to go lunch, 1828 calories.  According to the RMR I did after the program my RMR is 1987.  So it is under my RMR, but I am not sure that number is correct.  If it is I should lose weight on 1800 calories, if not I will probably maintain.  ARGH!!! 

Weighed in :  Zero