Running

One of my activities for my birthday was to run a 5K without stopping.  I have done a number of race walks, and run/walk, but I have never run a 5K without stopping.  I was planning on training for it, and work my way up to it from signing up in May to now.  But I didn't train.  I didn't run, I didn't even walk that much, and here I am with the day in front of me, and I had told myself that I would run the whole thing...I was screwed.

So I thought okay I can walk 3.1 miles, no big deal.  I will just walk it.  Then I started to think, geez that will take like 45 minutes.  I didn't really feel like walking, it just seemed like too much energy.  So I decided I was going to do a really slow jog, and I knew I could do a mile, so I was going to do a mile jog and see how I felt at the end of the mile.

I started back with the walkers, and slowly made my way to the front of the walkers and saw the joggers in front of me.  I didn't want to pass any of the joggers in fear that they would pass me immediately after I passed them.  I hate being passed.  So I tagged on to the back of the pack. 

Slowly the back of the joggers started walking and I had to pass them.  I made it to the 1 mile mark still running, still not dying, so I figured I could do another 1/2 mile. 

At the turnaround  I was okay, so I thought if I can make it to the mile mark again, maybe I can do the whole thing. 

I did manage to do the whole run, did it  with minimum damage to my aging body, and I was really really proud.  I had never in my life - ever - even as a child - run 3 miles.  Never.  And I had said that I would never run - ever.  I hate running.  My body is not built for running.  But I did run it and I didn't die, and I am here writing about it. 

So I went on-line to see what my pace was, and found it was 12 minute mile.  Sigh* the last 3K I did that I walked was 11:45 minute mile.  Sigh.

But I ran it.

Birthday

Today is my birthday and I plan to celebrate today tomorrow and Saturday.  Then I am planning on working to lose more weight.  Fear of performance failure is strong in my head.  If I eat 1200 calories I will not be able to physically work as hard as I would like.

But I keep thinking about product.  I was able to exercise on product at 960 calories.  According to fitbit and myfitness pal, a normal day for me of burning calories is 2700.  I eat about that much and I have been maintaining.  But can I cut it back?  Do I want to cut it back?

This upcoming week will tell.

Fat shaming

I just watched a video on Facebook that was it looks like produced by REI.  They were focusing on a ultra marathoner who was overweight and while she was on a break from a 50K she got an email from someone who told her how disgusting she was to call herself a marathoner. 

She didn't start crying or berating herself, she said yes it hurt, and yes she was slow, and yes maybe she walked/ran the 30+ miles, but she did it.

I can't even imagine walking/running 30 miles in a day.  The half marathons I have walked have left my feet mangled, and the night cramping.  Here is the only thing I have to say to this woman - you are crazy.

How can anyone find an ultra fun?  I would be sick a whole week before hand and come the day of probably cry all the way to the starting line.  Would I finish?  I don't know.  It isn't something I am ever going to have to figure out because I am never ever going to walk 30 miles in one day.  Ever.

But the point was REI put up this video, and reading the comments it was determined that REI does not/did not carry plus sizes in the past, and now they are expanding into some plus sizes, but not in most of the brick and mortar stores.  On-line sales.  I have been to REI.  I have tried on some of there clothes, some fit, some don't, but generally I get men's, they fit, they have large, XL and XXL for men.  It is okay for the men to have large sizes, just not the women.  It is the way of the world.

I am no athlete

Today at pickleball I realized people don't see me as an athlete.  They look at T2 and automatically conclude that she is athletic (which she most definitely is) but no one mistakes me for being an athlete.  And sometimes I wonder.  I am probably one of the youngest on the court and I periodically get my butt beat.

I can't compete with T2 when it comes to cycling, running or playing pickleball.  And my guess would be if she took up swimming I wouldn't be able to compete with her there either.  She is by far the better athlete, and no matter how hard I try I can't keep up.  But I am at one disadvantage when it comes to running and biking, I weigh a bit more then she does.  But that doesn't explain pickleball.

But I am thinking...I have never played a ball sport, and I was horrible at ping pong (actually I hated ping pong because I was so bad) that I rarely played.  So I don't have a "natural feel" for a racket game, but can it be learned?  I don't know, I am having fun trying, but I worry worry worry that people are going to complain about my playing if I don't improve.  It makes me nervous.  How long can I say I am a novice.

I look soft.  I think that is what it is.  I don't look like I am strong.  I don't have a runners/cyclist body, and it is that body type or the weight lifters type that makes people think one is strong and athletic.  There is physical and a mental softness that emanates from me that throws people off.  And that is because I am very very gentle.  A gentle giant like my Taya with a heart of a warrior who doesn't want to hurt anyone.  Now how does that work?

I might not be the fastest or best in these sports, but my heart say I am an athlete and I have the beats to prove it. 

Hurry up and wait

We live in a society that sets dates and times and admonishes you if you are late, but few admonishes those whose appointment you are there not late to see.

For instances a doctors office will tell you to get there 15 minutes early, but then it will be a miracle if they see you within 15 minutes of your appointment time.  I have waited over an hour at the doctors office even though I had been there on time.

And it is always the same with them.  I had an emergency.  Seems every time I go see my general practitioner they were having an emergency.  And if I get up and leave?  I will have to do it all over again the next time. 

But it isn't just businesses.  I remember my husband pulling this on me all the time.  I will meet you at the car at 5:00.  An hour later still on sign of hubby.  I am a slow learner, that happened to me a lot the first couple of years we were together.  I was always on time or a little early, he was always making me wait.

Even hairdressers make you wait.  I had a standing appointment and always I would wait 10-15 minutes.  Always an excuse, but never did I get in on time.

Planes, trains, buses.  All the same.  Except maybe Bart.  Bart seems to be on time unless someone tries to kill themselves.  All requires that you get there on time and wait.

And now court.  I have been called as a prospective juror many times.  The set a time that we are to be at the courtroom, and we get there then we wait.  We wait and wait and wait. 

Someone needs to tell doctors, lawyers, accountants, hairdressers, and transportation, our time is valuable too.  We have other things we could be doing rather than waiting in your uncomfortable waiting areas.  I used to be so very punctual.  It is a hard habit to break, I still try and show up when I am suppose to, but sometimes I think if I finish up what I am doing right now and I am 15-20 minutes late then I would be arriving just in time.  Unless of course this is the one time they can see me when appointed and I lose said appointment.  SH.

Down the stairs backwards

Yesterday I was walking down to bart and this lady was struggling with her suitcase as abled bodied men passed her by.

I couldn't stand it, so I offered to carry the suitcase up.  As I grabbed the suitcase the woman said careful it is heav...oh.  Yes it was not heavy, in fact it probably weighed as much as my backpack, but I smiled at her and bounded up the stairs.

I got to the top and she is standing there with shock in her eyes as I look at her.  I am thinking gee she thinks I am superwoman, but she says quietly, I am going down.  I laughed and brought it back  down the stairs thinking why she didn't use the escalator only now realizing it was an up escalator. 

Poor woman probably thought her visit was going to be marred by this big old woman stealing her suitcase.  I am sure I think it is funnier then she does.

Take back

I got some flack for yesterdays post.  Okay I understand everyone struggles with weight.  It doesn't matter what your weight most people work at it.  I understand that some people have body dysmorphia.

My rant was to/about a specific person.  Who gave me advice on how to lose weight.  The rant was not nice and I recall it.