There is so much internal battling that one does trying to lose weight, but sometimes the hardest part is dealing with the world while being overweight.
I have said this over and over, but the discrimination of obese people is rampant, not silent, not hidden. There is no compunction to not tell a fat person that they are fat, and fat people will eventually start beating people to the punch by telling you they are fat. It keeps that conversation short.
But I have had friends who have invited me on trips, and say you won't be able to do such and such because you are too heavy, but you could do this... I will smile and say the trip sounds grand and yes I could do...But I will never go with them on a trip. I won't now or even if I lose the weight because they hurt my feelings. Those throw away comments or pointed comments about weight are hurtful.
The truth will set you free. Do people who comment on peoples weight and then say well it is the truth, doesn't realize that overweight people know that they are overweight? You don't have to tell someone that they need to lose weight because they will feel so much better. You don't need to lecture someone on the dangers of obesity. We know. We have heard a thousand times. We know with our bodies. We know obesity is bad. You don't have to tell us.
But at times when we want to talk candidly about our weight and the issues we have around it, most people comment cuts the conversation short with "it just takes will power." So in essence fat people are weak. We have no self control and no ability to stop eating. And that is what people think. Truly.
And that particular weakness allows people to think we are less intelligent than the average bear, and in some cases, just kind of less of a human being.
Before I lost the weight I would walk my dog everyday. I passed people and no one ever gave me eye contact, I was never acknowledge. I grew accustom to this, and even I kept my eyes averted in hopes that acknowledgement wouldn't occur, because if it did it wouldn't be pleasant. I remember once I was walking down a street and some guy told me I shouldn't be on the sidewalk. I felt my face flush, and as I walked by he kept talking about my weight, but I couldn't hear him anymore because of the pounding in my head.
Everyone does the best they can, some flaws are more visible then others, and weight is one flaw that all the world sees and judges. The only thing we can do is stay away from the most judgmental and go on with our lives.
I have said this over and over, but the discrimination of obese people is rampant, not silent, not hidden. There is no compunction to not tell a fat person that they are fat, and fat people will eventually start beating people to the punch by telling you they are fat. It keeps that conversation short.
But I have had friends who have invited me on trips, and say you won't be able to do such and such because you are too heavy, but you could do this... I will smile and say the trip sounds grand and yes I could do...But I will never go with them on a trip. I won't now or even if I lose the weight because they hurt my feelings. Those throw away comments or pointed comments about weight are hurtful.
The truth will set you free. Do people who comment on peoples weight and then say well it is the truth, doesn't realize that overweight people know that they are overweight? You don't have to tell someone that they need to lose weight because they will feel so much better. You don't need to lecture someone on the dangers of obesity. We know. We have heard a thousand times. We know with our bodies. We know obesity is bad. You don't have to tell us.
But at times when we want to talk candidly about our weight and the issues we have around it, most people comment cuts the conversation short with "it just takes will power." So in essence fat people are weak. We have no self control and no ability to stop eating. And that is what people think. Truly.
And that particular weakness allows people to think we are less intelligent than the average bear, and in some cases, just kind of less of a human being.
Before I lost the weight I would walk my dog everyday. I passed people and no one ever gave me eye contact, I was never acknowledge. I grew accustom to this, and even I kept my eyes averted in hopes that acknowledgement wouldn't occur, because if it did it wouldn't be pleasant. I remember once I was walking down a street and some guy told me I shouldn't be on the sidewalk. I felt my face flush, and as I walked by he kept talking about my weight, but I couldn't hear him anymore because of the pounding in my head.
Everyone does the best they can, some flaws are more visible then others, and weight is one flaw that all the world sees and judges. The only thing we can do is stay away from the most judgmental and go on with our lives.
You never told me about the guy telling you that you shouldn't be on the sidewalk. Sounds like he needed a visit from our friends Smith & Wesson or their cousin Mace or.... you get the idea. That's really rotten! Too bad you were likely walking with Taya - Thunder would have supplemented her dinner.
ReplyDeleteFor T3's nonviolent friends who are reading my aggressive post, I talk a nastier game than I actually play. However, I'm willing to make exceptions.
I too have my friends comment about my limits - they usually refer to my knees and hips, but my weight makes the problems worse. I totally empathize with T3 on this one.
Since heavy men sometimes get characterized as "prosperous" or someuch, it's also clear that there is a double standard.
On a different note, Alvin Ailey dance troupe was GREAT! I've seen them several times before & loved each and every performance - so did T3. Woof from Whitemop
You are and have been my soul mate for 35 years. I am here for you and will kick anyone's ass who puts you down! And by the way, how did I do 326 steps in sleep per Fitbit. I know I twitch at nite due to the MS but 326 steps? Love you T����
ReplyDeleteYour arm is getting quite the workout. Thanks for the words of encouragement. You are the best.
DeleteI'm with Ted, on the person on the sidewalk needed a visit from my little friends. And I'll travel anywhere you want to go, I just won't be able to keep up with you..............:)
ReplyDeleteYou can take comfort in the likely fact that that stranger on the street is unhappy and unloved.
ReplyDelete