A few weeks before I started the program I gave up on watching what I ate. I plagiarized the phrase a goodbye to food party, and ate everything I had been denying myself and stopped worrying about how much I ate.
I enjoyed everything from ice cream to steak. I never once during that period tried to figure out the calories I was eating, and when I got on the scale I thought that it isn't a real weight gain. I mean you can't gain 15 pounds in a few weeks. It just isn't possible. So I had expectations that the first couple of weeks I would drop those 15 pounds and then some and be where I was before I had my farewell to food took place.
Well guess what? It didn't happen. Those 15 pounds was a real weight gain and I had to lose it all over again.
And the truth is I didn't really enjoy the food. It didn't taste as good as I had hoped, and I felt sick all the time. My stomach was in constant agony, and I was ready to stop eating. The good and the bad I guess.
So I have lost the 15 pounds and heading for another 10, but I can't help thinking where I would have been if I hadn't done the pig out. If I had not thought that I may never eat this food again, that this was my last chance to eat it. What if?
But that is what weight gain is. A little is good a lot is better, than you are sick. You get caught up in I couldn't possible gain 5 pounds in two days, so I am not going to worry about it. It must be fake weight gain. It will go away tomorrow. Then it is well 5 pounds isn't so bad, and so on and so on. You accept the weight you are, and when you gain you don't believe it and then you accept it. And the next thing you know it is like how did this happen?
As I said before, the diet in not the reason I am writing this blog, it is what comes after the diet. I need to be accountable in many ways, and I am hoping that by chronicling my days that I will be able to catch the fake weight before it becomes real weight and I can learn to eat satisfying and healthy food. Because the truth be told it has to be satisfying, I will not/can not spend the rest of my life eating tasteless boring food. It isn't going to happen.
But for now I will continue to eat this boring food because there is an expiration date and that date is May 4.
I enjoyed everything from ice cream to steak. I never once during that period tried to figure out the calories I was eating, and when I got on the scale I thought that it isn't a real weight gain. I mean you can't gain 15 pounds in a few weeks. It just isn't possible. So I had expectations that the first couple of weeks I would drop those 15 pounds and then some and be where I was before I had my farewell to food took place.
Well guess what? It didn't happen. Those 15 pounds was a real weight gain and I had to lose it all over again.
And the truth is I didn't really enjoy the food. It didn't taste as good as I had hoped, and I felt sick all the time. My stomach was in constant agony, and I was ready to stop eating. The good and the bad I guess.
So I have lost the 15 pounds and heading for another 10, but I can't help thinking where I would have been if I hadn't done the pig out. If I had not thought that I may never eat this food again, that this was my last chance to eat it. What if?
But that is what weight gain is. A little is good a lot is better, than you are sick. You get caught up in I couldn't possible gain 5 pounds in two days, so I am not going to worry about it. It must be fake weight gain. It will go away tomorrow. Then it is well 5 pounds isn't so bad, and so on and so on. You accept the weight you are, and when you gain you don't believe it and then you accept it. And the next thing you know it is like how did this happen?
As I said before, the diet in not the reason I am writing this blog, it is what comes after the diet. I need to be accountable in many ways, and I am hoping that by chronicling my days that I will be able to catch the fake weight before it becomes real weight and I can learn to eat satisfying and healthy food. Because the truth be told it has to be satisfying, I will not/can not spend the rest of my life eating tasteless boring food. It isn't going to happen.
But for now I will continue to eat this boring food because there is an expiration date and that date is May 4.
Let's hope YOUR expiration date is 2058.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to losing track - I just haven't lost the weight like you did. Small portions of tasty food sounds like a great goal. We can give the leftovers to Thunder & Today as long as they exercise. WHITEMOP
Healthy food that tastes good sounds like a good restaurant idea. The good thing with your diet program is that by only eating the bland "fuel" you always lose some weight each week. On my diet where I'm trying to eat less but normal food, there are some weeks I don't lose anything at all and even gain weight which is totally demoralizing. I guess it comes down to sacrificing taste for progress.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting and insightful post.
ReplyDelete